It's been a little while since I've last written a post on here, and that's because April was a tough month. Whilst it was good in lots of ways, it was also very busy, and at the end of the month I had to deal with some personal issues that I won't go into.

In all honesty I've been feeling pretty rubbish for the past couple of weeks, and my body is trying to play catch up. My appetite is smaller than normal, I'm sleeping a lot (but also waking up during the night a lot), and I'm now a commuter, so a bit of self-care is vital at the mo. It's been a very stressful few months personally, and now I'm at the end of it all, I'm absolutely shattered!

My feeling is that a new month brings a new chapter, so I'm taking May as a chance to restart and keep calm, and work out what's best for me - both logistically and emotionally. Even writing all this isn't making me feel totally comfortable, and I'm not really sure why. But I'm trying to stay positive and fill up my diary for the rest of the year with lots of fun plans with family and friends, and a lot of opportunities to put myself first.

May is going to be a hard month, but hopefully a happy month, so this is what I'm planning:

1. Get my arse back into the gym. I don't wanna talk about when I was last in one, but due to a few health issues, it's been a while. I'm taking the chance to adjust my routine and fit in some time to improve my health and fitness and fingers crossed, I should hopefully feel better physically and mentally. I've even gone and bought myself a bloody Fitbit haven't I!

2. Getting those piercings and that tattoo I've been wanting. I've wanted to get my seconds done for years, and now I can afford it and it's at the forefront of my mind, I want to do it. I've also been wanting a very small tattoo for a good while, and I feel now is the time to get booking.

3. Deal with uncertainty. There's been a lot of uncertainty hanging over my head for about 6 months, which has absolutely taken its toll on me and a lot of things important to me. I'm not the best at dealing with this - depending on how much there is, and how long it lasts, I usually get pretty stressed out and anxious, and actually can feel quite low. My mental illnesses bloody love it, but it drains me! I want to find some surefire ways to deal with it and accept it, because nothing in life is a given, no matter how much you plan it.

4. Read. I say this a lot but I still have a big pile of books sitting in my bedroom waiting to be read, and I'm no closer to getting through them. When things calm down a bit, I'm going to try and use my commuting as a way to tackle them! At the moment I'm halfway through Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeymoon, and really enjoying it.

5. Book into some creative classes/events. I've seen loads of watercolour classes or cooking classes or exhibitions that I've really wanted to go to, but I never had the money/time to do it. Now I do! I've not really done a lot of creative stuff (except this blog) for a long time - when I was little, I used to draw/paint/bake all the time - and now I'd like to go back to them. Plus, it's a good way to meet new people!

6. Keep journalling. I started doing this last month, and it's helped SO much. I've struggled with mental health issues for nearly 10 years and to be honest, I have no idea why I didn't do this sooner! It's so therapeutic to get my thoughts out on paper and a bit of perspective, instead of letting them snowball and then eventually not even make any sense. I'm really loving it, and it's nice to feel that no matter what's going on in my head, I've got a place I can go to get it out that's just for me.

Posts you might have missed:

I'd be really interested to see what everyone else is up to this month - let me know! And any Londoners who are going to any creative events, please shout out :)

M x