This is something that's been on my mind for quite a while now, because I see so many people online, and I know so many people in real life, viewing and defining themselves by their relationship status. I don't pretend to be some relationship/love life guru by any means, and yes, I am in a long-term, serious and happy relationship; but I have spent the majority of my life single, and I do remember what it was like when everyone else were in relationships/seeing people etc and I wasn't.

I've felt both judged being single and in a relationship about what I do, or how I act. I've been deemed 'uncool' enough to not be invited to parties where guys were going; and I've been left out on girls' nights because I've been in a relationship.

Let me just say this now: your relationship status does not define you. You are who you are, whether or not you have a partner in your life.

I've been that girl who wanted to be with someone so incredibly much, that it's the most important thing in life. I know how lonely it can be to be the only one without someone or even just without some kind of attention, and sometimes it can be upsetting and confusing, and you wonder 'what's wrong with me?' or 'what is it about them?' or 'what am I doing wrong?'. I get it completely. However, I've also been the person who has had people assume my life is perfect, or that I'm much better off because I have a boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, I love that boy to pieces and I certainly don't deserve such a wonderful person, but relationships do take work. It is not always good, and when it isn't, it sucks. SO. MUCH.

At the end of the day, you shouldn't be judged or judge yourself for anything, least of all whether you're single or not. It's one part of your life, yes, but it's not the only one. Time and time again - and yes, I've done it too, God knows - I see people trying so hard and focusing all their energy on one person's attention (whether they're single or taken), and at the end of the day, what matters is you and your happiness. If meeting lots of new people and searching for the right person, or spending all your time with one person makes you happy, go for it. Just don't forget about yourself and your life too; at the end of the day, all you have is yourself.

(all images taken from